Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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