Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
