Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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