You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He shit in the fireplace
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