He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize