I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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