I love black thongs
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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