I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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