The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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