don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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