Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
