Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
