My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
