Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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