smell my finger.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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