Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
