he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
