Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
