i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
