Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
