dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
