OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
