my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
