So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
