We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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