Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
