So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
do nipples grow back?
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