I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
