I wanna passion pit in your ass
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
