Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
