remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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