We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
