guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Operation Purity has been aborted
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
