No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
