I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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