He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
