my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
