Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
