If i come over, it means nothing
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i came on her dog
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
