Its about making memories worth repressing
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
