I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
