dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I lost the right to judge tonight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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