so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
