If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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