I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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