Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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