I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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