so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
