this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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