Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
