you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
