Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
