I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I deserve this hangover.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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